Bikas Bhagat
Something really bad has happened, something you never really expected…something you just can’t come to terms with even as it has struck a severe blow. The one who mattered to you more than anyone else in your life is no more there to reciprocate your love and there is a big void now which, try as much you can, just fails to disappear.
It is a heart break, a separation of paths of lovers.
This is exactly what happens- two people fall in love and then some misunderstanding brews, they have a fight and eventually they part ways. If something of this kind happens in the month of Valentine’s Day, things become all the more painful because in this season - love is literally in the air and it chokes you. You really long to be with your sweetheart and enjoy the bliss of falling in love, once again!
The pain does not ebb away and friends don’t seem to understand. Worse- everyone asks you to forget your former lover and move on. But you, blinded by love and loneliness, can not think beyond becoming double again.
It is not really impossible.
Let’s get things rolling for you then. First you need to understand the situation. You must realize that both of you shared a lovely relationship in the past and there is no reason why you can not relive that again. You just need to make a deliberate attempt to make things better.
But don’t hurry- give yourself and your ex time & space. Take time to think if you really want to do this. This process may give you surprising insights.
Now, at present, the situation is such that you two are not able to talk to each other, you two are not able to touch or even see each other. Regardless of this torture, if there is one magnet which you can really count upon to bring you two together again, it is love. For you wouldn’t have been experiencing this unique suffering (devotees of Krishna think it is a ‘sweet’ pain) had there been no love in the first place.
Remember, you met each other and then got separated, because of love- and the lack of it.
Plan out a meeting, preferably a place where you have shared the most memorable romantic moments. Make it look like a date, though you need not say it out loud. This need not be a rendezvous where you sort out your misunderstandings; rather try and make it the kind of experience which you must have had in the past which, rather mystically, strengthened your bond.
While you were in love, you must have realized that it is no less than a miracle in itself. You need to be honest to yourself, have faith in your love and the rest is what they call a ‘miracle’.
Keeping that in mind, go ahead with your plan to get your love back. There was something in you that made him/her like you. He/She saw something attractive/noble in you and that quality of yours turned the initial vibes into love. You need to find that little something in you. And oh yes, you can trust on that to work because THAT is nobody’s but your quality and you just need to dig it out: it could be a particular style, your dressing sense, your fragrance or may be the gifts that you always gave her!
While you count your qualities, do not forget the follies that may have led to the break-up. This will help you keep grounded and that is very important in a relationship. When you come face to face with your darker side, make effort to change it.
In your meeting, lift your spirits and enthusiasm to the same level when you first time went to woo her. You need to let your lover know how very special he/she is in your life. The love which brought you together was unconditional; you just need to prove it.
Remember when people are in love, even the mistakes of their lovers become reason to fall in love again (‘your paunch looks so cute’; ‘your sweat makes me sweat’), but there are layers to the complication called ‘love’: You never know what’s coming next. That’s why they call love so unpredictable. It is therefore wise to ignore the follies of your ex and think they are a part of the package that you would want to spend your good and bad time with.
Remind yourself of the unique traits of your lover. The things that made you go weak in the knees and make you want to go and hug her.
One thing is for sure: it was you who fell in love with another person and in this whole world there is no person as capable as yourself to let that happen again! Go ahead, fall in love again.
Listen to your heart and you will experience the same magic of things falling at just the right places.
